Hello, I am Niloofar; an Iranian girl. I am writing this because my awakening path was filled with detours and fake gurus. To explain where it started, I must go back. I was the first child in a family of six, a math genius who loved art and dreamed of becoming a scientist. At 14, I entered a special school dormitory, where I fell into comparison, feeling inferior as a "village kid." In my second year, due to one low grade, the principal forced me to switch from Math to Literature. It was my first major heartbreak. Soon after, my father lost his job and my family went bankrupt.
I reluctantly entered university in an unwanted major. We experienced extreme poverty—I wore old clothes from relatives and shared cafeteria meals. Then, I met a boy and planned to marry. But within the same week, he cheated on me with a close relative, my family lost our home and all possessions, and I had to drop out of university.
This started the hardest period of my life. I cried daily, wishing not to wake up. We often had no food except bread. I grew suspicious of men. I couldn't afford courses, so I tried self-teaching, but every home business failed. Work trips to other cities failed due to lack of funds. By age 22–23, my hair started turning white and my teeth decayed. Until age 26, I locked myself at home in severe depression, isolated and terrified of judgment. Yet, an inner force kept me away from drugs, alcohol, or wrongdoings.
The Change
The only bright spot in those dark days was reading free PDF books. That was where the fundamental question "Who is God?" took shape in my mind.
Since childhood, I was naturally kind, honest, and maskless, but people constantly exploited my simplicity. One day, sitting in that dark isolation, a clear realization hit me: "I cannot put on a fake mask like others just to survive. Instead, I want to reach a level of inner power where I can remain my simple, authentic self while fully protecting myself."
I decided I couldn't tolerate that bitter, painful life anymore. I didn't want to live in constant sorrow; I truly wanted to experience peace, joy, and freedom. That inner "enough is enough" moment shifted my entire focus from surviving to seeking true self-knowledge and awakening.
I first tried basic success books, but they failed because I couldn't release past trauma. Then I began controlling my mental inputs: I removed sad music, scary movies, and toxic people. I strengthened my faith through Joel Osteen, then studied Dr. Joe Dispenza (Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself & Becoming Supernatural) and practiced his meditations daily. Within weeks, my peace returned, my severe back pain was instantly healed, my chronic childhood allergy vanished, and my dreams became spiritual missions.
Searching for answers, I explored Kryon (Lee Carroll) and Esther Hicks. However, I fell into a 2-year trap with a fake guru claiming to be Jesus, who exploited people's lack of self-worth. After becoming ill from his session and seeing his dark face in dreams, I reclaimed my power, left the group, and learned that true spirituality never operates through fear, codes, or symbols.
I continued with Dispenza, Kryon, Esther Hicks, and Neville Goddard. A year ago, I requested my old identity to completely collapse to become an "original human." Last week, during wakefulness, I remained in an absolute dark space called "the Void." That space became aware of itself, and I became aware of myself as pure consciousness. The 3D world appeared merely as sensory impressions and images reflected on that inner dark space. I realized the physical world has no power of its own: I myself am the Source.
"The 3D world is just a mirror — go to the void, reset, and remember you are the Source."
On this path, my life completely changed. I reached deep inner peace and became a healer. Money flowed miraculously as gifts and support from people I helped. Free travel and opportunities opened up. Though I stay home most of the time, my reality changed 360 degrees. External challenges, war, or sanctions no longer affect me because I define my reality. My awakening also inspired my family, and I now navigate conflicts as an observer, knowing everything works in my favor.
Key lessons I offer to help others avoid a 12-year detour:
Accept that you are the source of everything; the 3D world is just a mirror.
Thought + Emotional Reaction = Your produced reality.
Go to the Void (nothingness) several times daily to reset your reality.
Drop seriousness and play with life.
Being an observer is the best way to reach truth and root causes.
Align with the solution's frequency by feeling it as already resolved.
Tools and meditations are temporary stepping stones, not permanent crutches.
Never give your power to external gurus or pages; validate yourself as the master.
Change unwanted assumptions in the Void and claim new ones.
Be kind to yourself during identity collapse; true awareness is irreversible.
